My Race

Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

I have a confession to make. I have always wanted to be a runner. I have always thought that a person who ran for sport or for exercise was...well, for lack of a better word...cool. It always seemed like that a person who ran had strength. Power. Control. The way the arms and legs and body moved in such a fluid motion (most of the time) was just awesome to me. I have never been a runner. I have always been overweight. I have always lacked some form of coordination. Somehow when I try to run my body doesn't want to work the way I imagine a runner's body is to work. My arms don't move fluidly. My legs don't move fluidly. My body does some herky jerky thing that is...well, for lack of a better word...not cool. I have always dreamt  of being a runner. However, my reality is that I just am not a runner. At least, not in this reality. So why would Paul write for us to RUN with perseverance? UGG!! He just loved writing in sports analogies. Such a "guy" thing. Now that my body is 'broken' the likelihood of me ever becoming a runner is even less likely than it was when I was a teenager. But I think to take the running out of context of the entire scripture is a tough nut. The scripture clearly says "run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Oh...no you just did not! A RACE marked out just for ME?!? I...AM...B-R-O-K-E-N!!! Did God not get the message that I cannot run a race? Maybe I should just help remind him that I am broken. Wait!!! He allowed this to happen to me and now He wants me to RUN a RACE?!? Maybe I should tell him that I "think" this race is too hard! That's the ticket. This race is too hard!! I can't do it any more because I am broken. My body hurts and hurts baaaddddd. Maybe I should tell him I don't want to do it. I'm going to just stop right now. I'm going to pull a toddler moment and lay down on the ground and kick and scream (within reason because remember my body is broken) because I DON'T WANT TO RUN THIS RACE!!!!!! I am tired and I am slow. I am dragging my feet. No running here. Wait...there is more scripture....

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition  from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

When I hurt and am in the most pain that I have ever felt, I call this "I want to meet Jesus" pain. Yet, Jesus suffered more pain that I will ever know. I know I have a broken body, but Jesus was beaten to death for me...for you. He suffered the ultimate broken body. His "race" to the cross was a slow, painful, broken path to Golgotha and he did it out of his love for you and me.

When I don't want to "run" my "race" any more because I "think" my pain is too much to bare, I need to focus my eyes on Jesus. My race is marked out for me just like Jesus' race was marked out for him. He was not a marathoner, but he crossed the finish line to make sure that we could all live an eternal life. So right now, I just need to press on even if I "think" it is too hard or I don't want to because I have a race to finish.